The Boys & Me

It has been a while since I posted some good Dylan stories so here it goes.

The school year began with a model student named Dylan. Dylan would show up for school and be ready for his work by 8am each day. He listened well. He waited his turn to answer questions. He turned in all his work on time. He sat politely in the cafeteria and ate his lunch each day. He played well with the children on the playground and made new friends. It was around week three of school that we discovered something changed. Dylan began daydreaming, avoiding his school work. Notes began coming home and emails sent with notice of infractions. His hyperactivity was in full gear. We adjusted his medication but soon came to the conclusion that a ghostly spirit had taken possession of Dylan’s body the first couple weeks of school and apparently had found another host body to possess around week three. We had our Dylan back.

The first note went something like this...

Dylan was calling kids jack@$$ on the playground during a soccer game. When confronted he said he had to rile up the other team. He then began arguing that he was “just calling them a donkey”. Since he was no longer allowed to play soccer during recess he was upset and walked into the building without permission.

I agree, this is inappropriate and Dylan’s privileges at home are restricted that night but I still laugh at his efforts to stay out of trouble. I can hear Dylan’s voice clearly, “I was just calling him a donkey.” This is the product of having an older brother.

The second note was about refusing to do his work.

The third note was from the soccer field again. It went something like this…

A student made a goal and was cheering. Dylan became upset and said son of a b&tch.

By now I am sure the school thinks we sit at home cursing like sailors all night long. I do recall saying and hearing curse words in elementary school back in the day. That was how we rebelled. At this point I decide that if cursing is his way of rebelling I will be saying some praises to the Lord after the hellish year we had in first grade.

The fourth note came in way of an email. It went something like this…

At 11:46am Dylan had still not completed his morning work. He was in trouble for washing his hands in the toilet. He was going to pee in the sink but he said he was just joking about that. He also stuck 2 erasers up his nose. Luckily we got them out.

Okay. I reread the email. Okay. I read the email a third time. I close my email.

In the meantime we are getting occasional notes from our new bus driver. Ugh. School is going relatively well and now we have to deal with a new strict bus driver. I was very tempted to write the bus driver a note that said something like this…Thank you so much for the note on Dylan’s behavior on the bus. I am thrilled to hear he is no longer tossing things out the window, peeing at the steps of the bus, and rolling under the bus. Getting under the seat and playing with children in the walk way is a huge improvement and very encouraging for the kind of year we will have. I decided against sending the note. The final straw for Mr. Bus Driver was fire drill day. If I had any idea that three fire drills were going to be completed on the school bus between 3-4pm when Dylan’s medication for hyperactivity and impulsive behavior is wearing off I would have never and I stress never sent him on the bus. Let’s just say that hour ended with a three day suspension from the bus.

Back in the classroom Dylan decided he just didn’t need to take his spelling test. We do a practice oral exam (so he doesn’t have to write) on Monday each week for his spelling words. Each Monday he knows how to spell the words. By Friday he just doesn’t see the point in taking the test. So, his grades look like this A, A, A, A, F, A, F, A…you get the point. For some reason this is the only test his teacher has not set a no negotiation rule on. We have since explained that he needs to be expected to take his test for spelling just like he does for math. Because his teacher did not require him to complete the test he will not have straight A’s on his report card. I wait until this to become upset enough to write the Assistant Principal a letter. I know, my values are a little screwed up. But I admit, I would rather him curse on the playground than refuse to do his school work. I’ve explained to him I won’t allow him to repeat a grade. He will not live at home an extra year. I’m just kidding about the last part except I do know that he has 3,913 days before he moves out for good. I pray I can keep him alive that long.

Having said all of that we are thrilled Dylan is doing so well this school year. His current (fabulous) teacher doesn’t understand our enthusiasm. We are very hopeful of his continued improvement. She doesn’t think so but she handles him really well. She wasn’t with us during our medication experimentation phase in kindergarten when 1/3 of the school year I was not present. She wasn’t with us during his next phase of behavior modification and medication experimentation. She wasn’t there at the monthly meetings with the counselor and Principal. He hasn’t broken pencils, wadded up school work, knocked over chairs, kicked the teacher, ran out of the building, nor has he walked a few blocks from the school and stopped for a chat at a stranger’s house during school hours. He is doing wonderful this year! We are even more hopeful after hearing from his doctor that with improvement at an early age like Dylan has had we should have fewer issues as each year passes.

With all of his shenanigans you can’t help but love him. He is one-of-a-kind. You learn to get up each day with a sense of humor and laugh when a conversation goes down like this on the ride to school.

Mom: Oh Dylan, did I forget to put a fork in your lunch bag so you can eat your mandarin oranges?

Dylan: It doesn’t matter mom. I’m not going to eat them anyway.