I received our church's weekly newsletter via email and inside it was the monthly date for serving at a homeless shelter. I was eager to respond to our minister inquiring about how I could help. I've wanted to serve at the shelter for a long time but the opportunity to do so with our church is always on a week day when I had to work. Serving is one of the items from my 'if I didn't have to work...' list. This being my first time I had it easy. I didn't have to plan the food, buy the food or make the food. I just had to show up. I had the best job at the shelter, head server. I was the first person to come in contact with the people.
I met up with Jerry and Carol at the church who serve every month. Jim, our minister, came and we drove to Fayetteville to the shelter. Chuck, also from church, met us at the shelter.
I'm not sure how you find out where to go when you are homeless but plenty of people knew to show up at 11:30 for a hot meal. The place I was serving in today was a place for those in need to come to eat, shower and to use the computers to find work and for a short while, stay warm. The temperature today in Northwest Arkansas is high 30s with some rain and snow earlier in the day. A line had already formed at 11:20 when I arrived. People patiently waiting for us to lay out the food allowing a mother with her two year old son to cut in line first. I wondered where all these people slept last night.
Some people kept their eyes down not saying a word while others exchanged pleasantries. Some looked exactly as I imagined and some looked like I could have worked in a cubicle next to them at some point in my work-for-a-paycheck life and that they were on their lunch break. None looked as though they deserved to be homeless. As I held the ladle to pour the hot vegetable and beef soup from the roaster oven into a crisp white Styrofoam bowl I wondered if this would be someone's only meal for the day and I thought to myself that this bowl just wasn't going to be big enough. Many came back for seconds and a few took some sandwiches to go. A handful of people asking permission to do so while others knew the drill. Myself, coming from a family of rule followers, always working for someone else obeying their rules suddenly wasn't sure what the rules were when the woman with long blonde hair not much older than me looked directly at me and asked if she could take a couple sandwiches to go for her sick friend.
After about a half dozen people came through for food I realized I wasn't interacting with them. Each time I tried to look up from the hot soup my throat tightened and my eyes burned. I swallowed hard and began making eye contact, smiling and sought to find a way to brighten their day. I told to one woman that she had pretty blue eyes and she looked at me as though she wasn't sure if it were a compliment. I complimented one young man on his hat and he reciprocated by telling me how pretty I was. He came back a third time to linger as though we were in a night club and he wanted to ask me to dance. He waited with his friends for me to leave and I became very aware that I was glad I rode with Jim. I was disappointed with myself for even allowing that thought to cross my mind. He really did have the coolest hat I'd seen this winter season and would have loved to have owned one myself. I secretly wanted to take a picture of him in his green hat for my blog.
We ran out of turkey sandwiches by noon and the cornbread disappeared shortly after. All that was left at 12:15 was the last half of the second roaster oven full of soup and a platter of cookies. I wondered why so many left so soon after eating. I imagined they would want to stay dry and warm for as long as possible. One man came shortly after the sandwiches and cornbread were gone. I couldn't tell if he was irritated at us for running out or himself for not making it in time. Either way, I felt bad for him. How long does soup keep you full without crackers or bread to go with it?
I was pleasantly surprised by how much gratitude some of the people had for the meal and our efforts. It never crossed my mind that we would be thanked or complimented on such a good meal and some went out of their way to express gratitude.
I left the shelter an hour after I arrived wishing those who remain to have a good day. A friend of my green-hatted admirer told me his day was good because he met me. I chuckled and walked away thinking it was certainly the other way around.
Jim dropped me off at my car I had left at the church and on my way home as my leather seat was heating my backside I wondered where all those people were going to sleep tonight. I wondered how much it would cost to lease a building with a heater and to throw down some cots, blankets and pillows for the people I met to sleep on. I thought of all the money I could have saved over the years to make that happen. I pulled into my driveway with the for sale sign stuck into the ground hoping our house sells soon so I could comfortably devote my spare time to helping others.
I look forward to the day I can share this experience side by side holding ladles with Dane and Dylan.
I look forward to the day I can share this experience side by side holding ladles with Dane and Dylan.
February 07, 2010
I'll make a confession that is incredibly selfish and makes me ashamed. I was insistant that on Thanksgiving this year, we were all going to serve at the Salvation Army. I thought it would be a good lesson for the girls. When I realized Thanksgiving fell one week before our Disney trip, I got scared that we would catch germs while we were there and I didn't want us to be sick at Disney. In the end, Megan and I were sick at Disney anyway. I feel like I got what I deserved by being selfish.