I met a man today who reminded me why we all should take a breath and live as though the world doesn’t rotate around our bubble.
The day did not start like any other day but it was an ordinary morning to morning standards. I didn’t sleep as sound as I usually do. At 5:40 I woke up knowing I had 20 minutes to spare before Randy’s cell phone alarm would sound and feeling the brisk air in my bedroom I got up to turn the heat on. It is just too hard to get up when you are warm only due to the heavy down comforter surrounding your body. It was 67 degrees in the house at 5:40am. I went back to sleep and woke to the sound of Randy’s phone to shower, make whole grain blueberry muffins and start the day. I woke the kids 10 minutes early. I typically drag myself out of bed at the last possible minute and half asleep rush the kids to get in the car on time. Not today. Today, after dropping the kids off, I was due to drop my car off for its 40,000 mile checkup at the Volkswagen dealership. On the way to school the boys and I reminisced about some of the crazy things they put me through. I told Dylan about him climbing on top of my mini van when he was four and about the time he tried to jump out of the same mini van as I was driving down the road. I told him about the times he ran out in front of traffic and the times Randy and I were so embarrassed we would give each other the look like, you go claim that child and I will pretend I don’t know him. Randy always won that game of chicken. Dane asked what the craziest thing he ever did was and I said, "nearly burning the house down." Dylan asked the same question and I said there were too many to choose a winner. As we told stories we had a break in conversation while we tried to think of something to top the last story. Dylan said, “Remember the time I popped open the umbrella in the car?” As if that incident could compare with melting his hair over a candle flame twice. We use glade plug-ins now.
During the time spent in the van the driver and I talked about the dealership, retirement, Bella Vista, deer, birds, and family. The closer we got to my house the van seemed to slow and our conversation became more personal. We would have found enough to talk about if I lived an hour away. I regret not getting the driver’s name so I can personalize him more but once you have discussed the death of your children how much more personal can you get? I wondered if he had met many people who understood the pain of losing a son. I wondered if it felt good for him to share the story of his fifteen year old son’s sudden death with a stranger. He described his son Jesse as a boy with a lot of potential. I got out of the van in my driveway truly glad that I met this gentle soul. A man who learned the hard way but understood the value of taking a breath and living. A man who understood the pleasure you can get just from talking to a stranger and opening yourself up to their world too. A man who understood the value of living in the moment.
I’ve been to several time management seminars where the instructor tells you to be in the moment and you will use your time more wisely. For a personality type such as mine that can be difficult to maintain but I do okay at it - more so in recent years than ever before. I also learned once that when you walk away from a conversation or meeting the person who did the most talking will be the one who feels the best about the interaction. The driver of the van did more talking than I did but I would argue that I got more out of our time together. It is refreshing to meet someone new who inspires you to stop and smell the flowers. I couldn’t have had a more contrasting encounter than Ms. Chang and our driver this morning. Maybe the contrast is what made the time so valued. I may not recognize the driver if I saw him in the aisles of Walmart but the stories he told me will be with me for a long time.
April 27, 2010
Beautifully written.