I've been AWOL from my blog as you may have noticed. I don't really have a reason other than lack of anything interesting to say writer's block. It's raining outside. It's been teasing me all day. A change is coming. Can you smell it in the air?
I've spent a lot of time with my girlfriends this summer and I've practically moved myself in at Doris' on weekends. We are even heading out for a girls weekend in a couple weeks. My skin is peeling and itchy from losing track of time in the sun pretending I was too good for sunscreen, I've never been so tan in my life, who needs sunscreen? The hairs on my arms are bleached from the sun. I keep looking at my moles waiting for one to spell cancer.
Leaves are falling from the trees in my yard and its still hot outside. My grass is dead from the heat but when I look outside it reminds me of autumn. It's back to school time, homework, notes from teachers, and getting up early.
I begin working next week in town and I'm preparing the boys for chores. I was given the opportunity to do some temp work as a way to "date" a potential employer. I'm excited to get out of the house and do something productive. I'm also looking forward to just NOT being in my house. I've been working from home in some capacity for seven years. The best news is while the work is temporary I'm allowed to work the hours the boys are in school so to them nothing really will change. For me, it offers an ideal balance for the short term.
Right now three out of four of us at home are sick with colds. I don't do sick well so I hope it ends very soon. I stopped by the store to pick up Sudafed and was practically fingerprinted in the process. I wasn't allowed the leave the pharmacy until I showed my identification so they could enter my information into their potential meth-head database I suppose and paid for it followed by having it stapled shut inside a bag. I swear it seemed like the customer next to me was eyeballing me hard with my cart full of cleaning supplies.
Randy has been traveling for work this week. He went to Canada, NY, and Tulsa before heading home. It sounds like he had a great time other than painful headaches from the sinus issues and flying.
I've been getting my product ready for the big Craft Fair in October. I will debut it all on my blog as a sneak peek before the Fair. I'm super excited about what I have pulled together.
It's September now. Dylan turns 8 years old this weekend. I watched the video from the day he was born with him and Dane yesterday. I remember how happy I was on that day. So much has happened since.
Autumn is coming, my favorite time of year. Autumn is breezy, colorful, reflective, and the opening to a wonder holiday season. Autumn reminds me of hope. Hope and anticipation that something good is ahead.
I do like change but in all my free time of self reflecting I've decided I like change on my terms. I am trying so hard to let go of my controlling personality. I'm struggling this week and with Randy gone I've let my guard down when I feel the most vulnerable after the kids go to sleep. I feel like I am failing everyone and my attempts at coping with my life are weak. I told you I don't do sick well. I'm a mess this week.
I know there are many people with lives that are monumentally more difficult than mine but golly....my life is hard a lot of the time. Some days I just want a do-over. Wouldn't it be nice if we had a reboot buttom?
