I think of March as Declan's month so when Karen, one of the NICU nurses who cared for Declan, said the same thing earlier this week it made me smile.
Today is the three year anniversary of the birth of our son, Declan.
March 6, was the day I found out Declan had developed fetal hydrops. March 10, was our first appointment with the perinatologist when we didn't get the answers we wanted. March 11, was the day I received my first steroid shot. March 17, was when we were told our son's better chance of survival was to deliver. March 19, the day that changed the course of my life and the way I saw the world. March 20, we celebrated a 24 hour survival milestone. March 23, we celebrated Easter in a Ronald McDonald House. March 29, I held my third born son for the first time while a machine breathed for him. March 31, was the day I had the biggest emotional meltdown I had ever had to date as my husband and two older children drove away from Joplin to leave me alone to cope and be responsible for my son who born three months too soon.
Today we remembered Declan for his life.
Last night I sat with the boys and talked about Declan's life and showed them the items that were his from the hospital. I answered their questions and we shared our feelings.
Today my mom, sisters and I went to the Joplin hospital where Declan was cared for. We delivered baskets from our charity.
I also had something special for the moms in the NICU today and the nursing staff.
For the moms the bag said Proud Mama of a NICU Miracle Baby and the Nurses' bags said Proud Nurse...
Later in the day I shared with my mom and sisters the same items of Declan's that I had shown the boys. Many things they had not seen before. We all went to the cemetery to release balloons in memory of Declan's birth day.
We had a lovely day celebrating our son's short but important life.
March 26, 2011
my dear Linda, I love to visit your blog and have read "Declan's month" a few dozen times. Sometimes I need to process all the emotions I feel before I can actually leave a comment, this one in particular. I cannot imagine all the emotions you must manage......
I have sit and studied and carefully examined the pictures you posted. I have wondered, in the cemetery, the yellow roses in his vase, did you know dad's favorite flowers were yellow roses and that is what I usually buy to put on his grave? I love the cars, so sweet. The beagle reminds me of our family's love of dogs, especially dad's in that it is even on his stone. The beagle makes me think he is there guarding and protecting Declan and makes me smile.
I also notice my dear Randy's worn pocket and wonder is that because that is where his wallet sits. I see the pockets on all the jeans have the same looking stitched design and wonder if that was accidental. I can't tell what is behind the stone that looks tan, but I love the teddy bear looking on from afar as if to say, "I'm here too."
I do love the balloon picture too. The first thing I see is that Dylan's balloon looks black. It makes me wonder if he chose it, as I have always believed Dylan is "deep" and intelligent beyond his young years. If he didn't choose it I would wonder if it might be God's way of telling us something about him? I notice you holding 2 balloons and then notice Randy is not in the picture, so one must be his. And the purple balloon that Dane is holding, that is my favorite color, and grandma Glass', and the color I would have chosen. I know Dane and I have such a strong connection and I see it in so many things he does.
I just wanted you to tell you that I realize you work so hard in your family, your home, and your job, and that I appreciate your blog more than you could ever know......