The Boys & Me

Have you been watching the new sitcom this year called The Middle?  We have watched it a few times and Dane thinks it is hilarious. The parents are pathetic and the kids are freaks.  Each episode we have watched we can relate to in one way or another. Brick is the youngest and is super smart but socially awkward and he is OK with that. He takes a social skills class which coincidentally so does our son Dylan. One episode was on social skills and how the teacher was forcing the students in the social skills class to attend recess and practice their skills.  Dane (arguably should be attending a social skills class) quoted Brick’s lines from that episode for days. He felt like he related to Brick and his friends. This week’s episode was especially funny to us because it was parent–teacher conference day. The mom went on a rant about how she and Mike (the husband) are lazy parents and they have to get involved like other parents – average is just not acceptable like it was when they were kids. Average is the new below average and so on.  Mike says, “What magazine or lady show can I blame for this.”  The previous episode the mom told Mike to go to the school function in her place because she had to work and besides he always says he wants to be more involved. His response was, “No. I’ve never said that.”  Their exchanges are so similar to ones we have in our home.

My favorite line in this week’s episode was after they put an effort into getting more involved on the last week of school and it didn’t go so well, Mike says, “I don’t think we are lazy parents, I think we got stuck with crappy kids.” The mom replies, “It is nature vs. nurture. Of course that would still be our fault.” 

Like I said in a previous blog entry, the show is nothing like when we were kids watching The Cosby Show but still, sadly, I can relate. 

Today was track and field day for the boys. On a regular day, watching them play on the playground with other kids you might think my boys are athletic kids.  They are fit, muscular and active.  Today, in a competition among other children side by side racing, throwing a softball, long jump, etc., not so much.  Dane begged me to take him home and let him skip the events.  It didn’t actually bother me as a parent watching one of them come in dead last in a race twice because I just kept saying to myself, but they are soooo smart and (I’m biased) adorable. 

Dylan was injured at the end of the day while playing around the track when Dane’s class was finishing up. He climbed a pole and on his way down he fell too fast and crashed into the concrete base. From where I was standing it looked like he broke at least one bone if not fractured his face.  It was ugly. When I saw he was playing tough guy with no tears I met him on the way to the nurses station where she gave him plenty of sympathy. I merely said, “When you do dangerous things, there are consequences.”  He did break a tooth and scraped the skin off from the inside of both legs and a scratch under his chin.  At dinner he was complaining that his tooth and tongue hurt. I tried to explain that there are reasons we have safety rules and he needs to understand when breaking rules these things tend to happen.  I almost drove him to the dentist after the eventful day but I told myself that my parents wouldn’t have taken me to the dentist over a cracked tooth. I had a cracked tooth as a kid and I was told it would eventually fall out on its own. No x-rays to look for nerve damage.  At dinner I was regretting that decision.

Kids have it so much easier than we did when we were kids. We coddle them incessantly. I’m trying a tough love approach on Dylan in these situations.

Today we received in the mail Dane’s certificate for the Duke TIP program. It is the talent identification program put on by Duke University. He qualified by testing so high on some test scores.  I showed Dane all the literature and told him how exciting it was to be a part of the program.  His response after reviewing the material was less than enthusiastic.  “All they want me to do is do more schooling!” He walked off.

I’m thinking being invited into a talented and gifted program when I was 10 would have been so exciting and a huge self esteem builder.  I don’t even know if these programs existed when I was 10 but I do know I would not have qualified for them.

I will go to bed tonight thinking about how I may not have had a first, second or third place winner in the track and field day events today but I do have a smart child. Again, I’m reminded of the family in the sitcom The Middle.  They drove all the way to Chicago for a spelling bee thrilled that their son would be recognized for something, anything.

Here are two pictures of Dane and Dylan performing Hurdles today.